Long Way Down
by Serephim
Summary: "I'm picking up the pieces and trying to put them back together. I don't know if I'll make it. I just don't know...' Alfred is trying to piece his life back together after an accident, and he's shut down. How long until he reaches the surface again?
1. Day 12

Diclaimer: I do not now nor will I ever own Hetalia.

Note: Technically, I'm supposed to be writing two papers while I'm in the middle of writing this. However, the voices in my head are screaming at me to put this down on paper. For those of you familiar with my work, I'm back! For those of you who are new to my work, I bid you welcome! This is my first Hetalia fic. I figured it was about time to branch out again. To those who know my work, I do have plans to continue my work with Saiyuki. Thanks for all your support! I hope you enjoy it as much as I will enjoy writing it.

Ciao,

Serephim

Day 12Alfred's Journal

The air feels nice. It's too hot in this room. It's always too hot. As I'm writing this, I'm sitting in my room close to the window. It feels better here. The sky is a nice shade of blue and there's not a cloud in the sky.

Matt told me I should start keeping a journal right now. So I can go back and look at how much progress I've made so far. To be honest, I **feel** like this is total bullshit. I **feel** like I'm being taunted and reminded of how much of a loser I am right now.

_'Congratulations! It's been 12 days. Keep it up!'_

Bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit. I'm still at the same fucking spot I was 12 days ago! I still have so many nicks and cuts from shaving. I threw out the glass shards shortly after the bathroom mirror broke. I haven't bothered to get it replaced. That was 12 days ago too.

Matthew has been encouraging me little by little. Personally, right now, I want to knock him in the teeth. It's not that I hate him or anything. He's my brother, for Pete's sake. Who the hell was Pete anyways? He must've pissed a bunch of people off in order to get his name forever stuck in a phrase like that.

I'm going back to school starting tomorrow. Matt said everyone is looking forward to seeing me. They're concerned that I still haven't gotten over my accident. Morons.

The sun actually burned my eyes today. I hadn't opened the curtains in so long. In the sunlight, my skin glowed slightly from the lack of it. I heard myself laugh for the first time in 12 days.

What does it matter anyways? It's only been 12 days. 12 long, horrible, cruel days. I don't know how many are left. How long will it take? When will my life get back to normal? Tomorrow? Three weeks? Four weeks? A year?

All I know so far is that I have survived 12 days.

I don't know if I'll make it.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

A/N: That's the end of the first chapter. To be honest, this is going to be a long one. Unfortunately, I don't know how often I will update. I hope you will continue with this. Reviews are always welcome. If it sounds slightly OC, I apologize and ask you to continue with it for a little longer. I promise that all will be explained. Peace Be

Serephim


	2. Meeting In The Stacks

A/N: Wow! Second Chapter already. This is a record for me. There are a couple of pairings, but I don't want to spoil it yet. You'll know by the end of this chapter hopefully. As I was saying, there will be more to come. I don't know how long this will be, but please bear with me. BTW, I will have a playlist posted at some point for mood music.

Disclaimer: Hetalia still doesn't belong to me. Neither do any of the songs talked about in here.

Eleven months

"Man, I hate the cold!"

It was a bitter cold day in January on campus as students milled around after classes. Alfred Jones was currently freezing in his red jacket. The snow crunched loudly under his boots. His blonde hair was sprinkled with rapidly melting snow. Blue eyes looked out from a pair of wire framed glasses as he surveyed the wintry scene.

"I do not mind it so much."

Alfred glared at his small friend. Kiku Honda was a recent transfer to their college. Kiku was a few inches shorter than his American friend with jet black hair and eyes. Unlike his friend, he was quiet and reserved, tending to keep his opinions to himself.

"What the hell, Kiku? How can you stand this?" Alfred asked, glaring at his friend while suppressing a sudden shiver.

"I just do. It's a quirk. Do you have any classes left for the day?" he asked, blowing into his cold hands.

"Nope! My 4:00 class was cancelled. Lucky! What about you, Kiku?"

"Just one and then I'm finished. You are more than welcome to go home without me. I can arrange a ride from Yao."

"No way! A promise is a promise. Besides, I wouldn't leave one of my best buds hanging. I'll just hang out somewhere until you're finished. But…" he smiled pleasantly at his friend, putting an arm around his shoulders, "You're coming home with me and watching horror movies with me, got it?"

"Fine. If you say so. I have to go now. Why don't you go to the library? It will be much easier to find you in there." The Japanese man sighed tiredly.

"But it's boring in there! And that librarian is such a mean…. Please don't make me go there." He whined loudly.

"I guess I can just call Yao."

" ….! Fine, I'll see you when you get out of class. Six, right?"

"Yes, I'll text you when I'm done."

"Can't you still do that so I don't have to go there?"

"Yao."

"Jerk."

With that, Kiku headed off towards his class, leaving Alfred alone to head towards the library.

'This is probably his attempt to get me to read more or go to the library more or something… Stupid jerk.' He thought miserably as he headed into the library.

It was the gem of the campus, dating back from the 1800s or so the campus tour guide had told him ('She was really hot'). It housed more than 50,000 books and was home to some of the more recent technology due to the school's funding. Alfred quietly breathed in the dust and the sweet smell of antique pages. The library was abandoned at this time, mostly because everyone who usually was here left after four. He was alone with nobody but the books to bother him. He heaved an exasperated sigh and trudged towards the back of the library. He figured he'd hunker down with his music until it was time to go home. He hit shuffle and let it play. Piano keys banged in his ears as the drums kept a steady beat in background.

_One night to you__  
__Lasted six weeks for me__  
__Just a bitter little pill now__  
__Just to try to go to sleep__  
__No more waking up to innocence__  
__Say hello to hesitance_

Alfred's face pinched together at the first words. Once upon a time, he thought Pink was the hottest thing since sliced bread. Now…

He quickly punched the right arrow and heard the first chords of The Ting Tings. He had to look at the screen in order to figure out what the song was.

"Wow. She has some weird taste in music." He murmured quietly.

"Who does?"

He whirled around and came face to face with empty air. He blinked back his surprise, staring into the open space. Nothing whatsoever had changed about his surroundings. Same tables, same chairs, same books. Except an end of a book was now resting quietly on the floor, peeking out slightly from behind the bookshelf. He slowly got up, leaving his belongings on the table. He went over to the bookshelf and picked up the book. A hand caught his wrist.

"Atsiprašau."

"What?"

Alfred found himself caught by a young man roughly his age. The hair was about shoulder length, a nice medium brown. The face was soft and almost boyish, innocent even. What really caught his attention was his eyes. He stared into some of the bluest eyes he had ever seen. That deep blue that you could swim in. They were staring back at him with a mixture of fear and something else. Something fierce and demanding.

His captor was currently sitting cross legged on the floor with one of the ancient tomes the library boasted of in his lap. There were several others stacked next to him. The hand, which Alfred had imagined to be rough and calloused, was smooth with an unexpected strength.

"I'm sorry. I thought it had just been left there." Alfred explained quietly, licking his dried lips and attempting to pull his wrist away.

The man quickly let go of Alfred's hand as if it were diseased. He buried those blue eyes back into the black words ingrained in the white page. Alfred was incensed by the behavior of the young man. He would admit (if asked on a good day) that he did have the tendency to be annoying and could be a bit of an ass. However, this was not only rude, but it wasn't even justified. So Alfred did what Alfred would do in this situation: be an ass.

"Hey! What the hell, man? It was a mistake. A friggin' mistake. Excuse the hell out of me." He yelled at the young man.

The young man visibly flinched at the words. He looked up at Alfred in fear.

"What are you doing? You'll get us kicked out, you fool!" he whispered fearfully, keeping an eye towards the circulation desk.

"Wow. So His Majesty can speak. I was worried after all that gibberish you were spouting earlier." He said, sarcasm dripping from every word.

"I apologize. Now please be quiet!"

"What the hell, man?"

"Who's shouting over there?"

The two stared at each other as they heard the approach of the librarian. The young men looked at the other with a shared expression of horror and panic. Alfred say her coming before the young man did. He grabbed a hold of his hand and dragged him towards one of the empty study rooms. He quickly flipped off the light and the two hunkered down on the other side of the door. They heard her come through the bookshelves, searching for the cause of the disturbance. After the longest 30 seconds of their lives, she finally left, muttering the whole way back. The two breathed a sigh of relief.

"That was too close." The young man laughed quietly.

Alfred smiled and laughed too. It had been a long time since he ran and hid like this. And the idea of two college aged men hiding from an old woman made him laugh a little harder. The whole absurdity of the situation caught up to the young man and he began to laugh in kind. The two laughed until tears came to their eyes. The young man wiped a stray tear from his eye.

"I'm sorry. We almost got kicked out because of me. Forgive me, my friend. How about we start over?" he said at length, looking at him with those deep blues.

"Yeah. It's okay. I wasn't any better. I'm Alfred Jones." Alfred said with a smile, holding out a hand to him.

The young man studied the hand before taking it.

"Toris. Toris Laurinaitis."

A/N: The two kind of called to me in a way. For anyone who has read up to this point, I hope you will continue to read. I do have plans for these two. Thanks so much for reading. Review if you'd like.

Playlist for Chapter 1- Whatya Want From Me? –Adam Lambert

Playlist for Chapter 2- Long Way to Happy – P!nk

That's Not My Name- The Ting Tings

Pride- Syntax (when Alfred first meets Toris)


End file.
